THE TRIQUETRA OF LIFE: Wisdom, Wealth, and Wellness

This just published in the conservative New Oxford Review.com’s blog section called Narthax.

I recently read a lament about fathers not attending Mass and failing as role models for their kids.

Of course a much worse tragedy is that millions of kids do not know their dads or even have one.

I was a long-time friend of a recently deceased elderly couple. They regularly attended St. Mary’s Parish, and their three daughters were baptized and raised Catholic. My friends lived long enough to witness the following horrors occur for reasons they could not fathom.

Their eldest daughter experienced terrifying bouts with the devil such that the whole house shook at night. Her father had difficulty getting an exorcist, but that priest could do nothing for her. She worked as a teacher until her marriage broke up, and then committed suicide despite heavy medication.

Their second daughter married, had two kids, and then divorced. She went to church until she became severely disabled and bedridden. Her two children went off the deep end, no doubt harmed by lacking a dad. One ended up in jail several times in his early teens and was disabled by an accident while using drugs. He’s over 30 years old and weighs 350 pounds, substituting food for God. He had three kids out of wedlock, one disabled with spina bifida. He mopes around on SSI, with evidently no life purpose.

His sister, a year younger, is also 350 pounds. She has had three teenage lovers, resulting in four kids. One of her young lovers had Type-1 diabetes and refused to be medicated until dying emaciated. She has an 11-year-old son who is into gaming all night. A fatherless seven- and a three-year-old came from that diabetic teen. The fourth child is a baby whose teenage father was sitting around surfing his cell phone when I last visited.

The money to support this particular family comes from government welfare at about $3000/month. Their house is all paid for but needs repairs. Their youngest daughter has displayed a practical sense and since her parents’ death has assumed the financial dictates of survival for this chaotic family. However, she lives with her boyfriend, frightened of marriage and horrified at the prospect of having her own kids who might end up like her niece and nephew. She limits her visits because they’re so upsetting. Her exasperation is understandable.

Although their three daughters were raised nominally Catholic, something was sorely missing. Religious instruction is not what it was in the 1950s at inexpensive parochial schools, with mandatory Sunday school, and responsive godparents. Then there’s the impact of advanced technology since the birth-control pill and television. Parents have much less influence over their children than TikTok videos do. The Catholic Legion of Decency back then could persuade Hollywood film producers to avoid sex scenes and soft porn. Today’s kids of course see no harm in steamy love affairs and avoid their parents for advice on the moral implications. AI chatbots now feed them twisted consumer propaganda, fake news politics, and fashionable libertine garbage.

This sums up the messy, ugly decline and fall of America the Beautiful that we oldsters once knew as kids.

Circling back to the aforementioned family: Their seven-year-old great-granddaughter must think I am her father’s substitute. I bring her little gifts on my infrequent visits. She hovers by me as I chat with her sick grandma. When it’s time for me to leave, she hugs me at the front door and will not let me go — a heart-gripping moment. I feel so sorry for her not having a daily dad to be there for her.

Fatherlessness can have a number of negative effects on children, including:

• Mental health and behavioral problemsChildren from single-parent homes are twice as likely to have behavioral and mental health problems. 
• Academic difficultiesFatherless children are more likely to have trouble in school, including poor performance on tests and dropping out. 
• PovertyChildren in father-absent homes are almost four times more likely to be poor. 
• Substance abuseFatherless children are more likely to smoke, drink alcohol, and abuse drugs. 
• DepressionFather absence in early childhood is associated with more severe depression trajectories across adolescence and early adulthood. 
• Self-conceptChildren may have a diminished self-concept and feel abandoned. 

“Suffer the little children to come unto Me.” Matt 18:1-5