🐾 When Illegal Immigrants Assume Adverse Possession

The Extensive Damage Done by Unwelcome Tenants 🐾

For months — no, years — illegal immigrant gophers have been waging an underground campaign of chaos beneath my very feet.

• Uprooting perfectly manicured grass, depraving and ruining pleasant, orderly circumstances
• Countless cross-border tunnels undermining the foundation of my garden beds
• Stealing and looting my food supply: roots, bulbs, and veggies destined for my table
• Collapsing patches of lawn, turning my yard into a patchwork of hazardous mounds
• Forcing me to divert valuable resources, time and money to curtail their disorderly conduct
• https://www.youtube.com/shorts/7jM7OdOaLQs?feature=share

These clever invaders think they own the place by Squatters Rights, but it’s time to remind them who’s boss.

It’s time for negotiations … Trump style.

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🦅 The Official Trump-Style Gopher Eviction Notice 🦅

Attention: Illegal Immigrant Gophers

This is an official eviction notice to you so-called “Resident Gophers” — illegal immigrants occupying my property without permission. You snuck in, dug your contraband tunnels, and caused a tremendous mess.

Believe me, it’s not allowed!

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Here’s the Art of the Deal (with wily, unwelcome Gophers):

You move out immediately — and you’ll be treated very fairly. In fact, you’ll get a Deportation Prize: a deluxe underground relocation package featuring:

• Unlimited fresh roots and bulbs elsewhere
• VIP tunnel access guaranteed to neighboring properties
• Complimentary farewell gift of the finest, tastiest carrots.
• Free transportation to where ever you wish to go for you and your relatives.

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But if you don’t deport? Or if you do, but then return, you’ll be sorry . . . you, your spouses, and offspring.

If you keep digging those illegal tunnels and disrespecting my land, I’m going to build the strongest, most beautiful walls and drone traps — the best you’ve ever seen. And I will win. Because nobody wins like I win.

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Your choices are clear:

1. Pack up all your stuff and leave quietly — with your Deportation Prize! OR
2. Face the biggest, most powerful pest control operation in history, with gopher snakes and hawks,

I’m watching you . . . . very closely, and I will hunt you down.

Make the smart choice.

— The Boss

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